her heaven is never enough (_lyra_b) wrote in patient_spider,
her heaven is never enough
_lyra_b
patient_spider

Grief and Mourning

Grief, when it comes, is nothing we expect it to be...[it] turns out to be a place none of us know until we reach it.
Joan Didion, The Year of Magical Thinking

I recently read this enlightening book and found it very helpful in dealing with grief and mourning. Author and essayist, Joan Didion, found herself a widow when in December of 2003 her husband of forty years died suddenly of a heart attack. She wrote this book as a way of documenting her thoughts and feelings about her loss and her grief.

It's more than just a personal story, though, as she refers to outside sources that can help one deal with this emotion. One thing Didion points out is that in today's society death is very clinical and often occurs in a hospital, whereas is decades past death often occurred at home, was more commonplace in the culture, and people had better coping mechanisms.

So, what do you think? I've created a short poll with some basic questions, but please feel free to leave comments. Any and all opinions/comments are welcome and as always, feel free to respond anonymously.
Poll #804989 Social Aspects of Grief and Mourning

How do you feel about showing grief?

It should be kept quietly to one's self.
0(0.0%)
It should be shared with close friends and family members only.
1(8.3%)
It should be shared with anyone you think can help.
5(41.7%)
Other - please comment.
3(25.0%)

Do you think society today inhibits the grief process?

Yes - people are made to feel as if they shouldn't show their emotions.
3(25.0%)
Yes, but you still have to deal with your grief in your own way.
5(41.7%)
Yes, other reasons - please comment.
0(0.0%)
No - reason? Please comment.
1(8.3%)

Do you think funerals help with the grieving process?

Yes
7(58.3%)
No
2(16.7%)
Maybe - reasons?
3(25.0%)

If you have experienced the death of someone close to you, what helped you in the grieving process?

Memories about the person
1(10.0%)
Keeping a journal
0(0.0%)
Trying not to remember; denial
0(0.0%)
Therapy
0(0.0%)
Talking to friends
1(10.0%)
Other - please comment
0(0.0%)

What words/actions do you give when trying to comfort someone who is grieving?

Simple but sincere remarks such as "I'm sorry for your loss."
0(0.0%)
A card or a personal note.
0(0.0%)
Sharing memories about the person who died.
1(8.3%)
Offers of help/food, etc.
1(8.3%)
Other - please share
0(0.0%)
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